Everything you do in life, every decision you make, ultimately comes down to intention, your intention when you made this decision and ultimately, how conscious you were in making this decision.

I went to a talk on Wednesday night which centers around the teachings of Dharma and Buddhism and they spoke about karma and how the idea of karma ultimately comes down to intention. So if your intention on the decisions you are making is not conscious and therefore you are making bad decisions, you are going to suffer the consequences and visa versa, if you are very conscious of all the decisions you make, and have a positive intention in every way, you are going to have good benefits. So ultimately, it comes down to the importance of being present and conscious in everything that you do, every movement, every decision, everything.

So I thought about this for myself, more specifically, for myself the last two years and how much my decision making, my consciousness or everything I do, seemed to suddenly go out the window. So I went into protection mode and did everything I could do to be aware and conscious of every single thing I did, no matter how out of control and unaware all the time I felt. I was forced to be very very conscious.

Then I thought about no matter how conscious I have tried to be, how present I have tried to be, how much I have tried to set a clear, positive intention in everything I did, chaos would ensue so often and then I would see what would happen.

I also looked at how important it is to be conscious of everything you do and when you go through something traumatic, it’s just exemplified, how important this is. How you use your time, how you do everything and anything, because for myself, time was a premium. I never had a moment of peace or knew when I was going to be able to do something.

At the talk I thought about this, and things have begin to click more and more with this, and I then look at the last two years, up until this point, and how much the chaos everyday would insue and how much I would be unconscious in everything I did, and though my internal intention, which of course hasn’t changed, has always been to get better, and feel great all the time and do everything I want to do with my life, the intention that was being created, or my consciousness when I did things was not present.

And this will not come in a day, or a week, this is something that you will need to continue to work on. That I will need to continue to work on. And I look at my intention in everything I do needing to relate to my wellness, and moving my life forward and does this help me heal, can I do more to help me heal, does this really help me or create chaos. It’s ultimately me continuing to work on being present and making conscious decisions.

We are not perfect, there is no such thing as perfection, but we can work on, I can always work on, being conscious and present in everything we do, and setting the right intention in everything we do.

This experience has made me, forced me to be extra conscious in everything I do, and ultimately setting the right intention in everything I do, everything.

Ultimately, with Lyme Disease, with anything you are healing from, or building, you need to really be conscious of everything you do, say, etc because every little thing helps you move forward.

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A Formulation

By nature I am a very analytical, detail oriented, who feels everything in essence has an answer to it, or in essence a formulation. Yes there is some truth about things being unexplained and trusting the universe and letting go, etc, but there is also a rhythm to everything and in essence a formulation to everything. So I was thinking about this even more when it comes to Lyme Disease, because in essence that’s what the last 2 years in some ways have been about, me along with doctors, etc, finding the correct formulation to Lyme Disease to get to a point to being symptom free. I believe that there is this formulation in everybody.

So what is this formulation, how do you figure out this formulation? Well let’s first look at it this way. I feel there are three things that you are working on while treating Lyme Disease and it’s partners in crime, it’s co-infections. Those three things are as follows:

First killing the bacteria and the toxins in your body:

This is probably the most important thing, you need to kill the bacteria, the toxins, so you can get better. If you did not have these toxins in your body, you in essence would be fine, no matter how strong or weak your immune system was or how well you detox.

So the first step to the formulation is to figure out the bacteria load, what bacteria is in your body and finding the right protocol that works to kill the bug, at the same rate that you are doing the following:


If you are not detoxing or flushing out the bug at the same rate you are killing the bug, you are only going to get sicker and sicker and can never really catch up to yourself. So the next part of the formulation is figuring out how to detox at the same rate that you are killing the bug, which leads to the following:

Rebuilding your body:

At the same time, you need to be rebuilding your body, because you are constantly breaking it down and if your body can’t keep it up with the killing and the detoxing, you will never get anywhere. S you need to continue to build your immune system and any areas of weakness, and if some areas are weaker then others then you need to build those even stronger.

Some people need to heavily detox before they can kill anything because their toxin load is to high, meaning they need more of that part of the formulation then the killing part.

Now so those are the three aspects that need to be addressed when attacking the Lyme bacteria and it’s co-infections. Now I guess the next question is, how do you figure out how much bacteria you need to kill, how much you need to detox, how much you need to rebuild. Well, that’s the formula and each formula is different for everybody.

So in conclusion, your doctor, or whomever maybe treating you for Lyme Disease, must understand these three things and know how to move you forward in your wellness as quickly as possible without continually feeling worse. If they aren’t I don’t think they are the right person for you and understand your formulation.

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On Monday, I had an appointment with my doctor. It had been I believe 2/2.5 months or so since I saw him and this I knew would be a big appointment on many levels as it was the appointment that we would start really getting aggressive.

So I drove up the four hours and had a great appointment and me and him think within a year, give or take I will be back to 100%. I firmly believe this. He likes the progress, though it’s slow, it’s more then a lot of patients.

So I am about to start Antibiotic therapy, which I did about a year and half ago when I first got sick and did not work out well, but it was different then and done under the care of a doctor who had no clue what they were doing. This doctor very much does.

He also believes you cannot really fully heal from Lyme, etc without antibiotics. I intuitively feel there is a truth to that and I also feel for myself no matter how much I do not want to take antibiotics I know it’s the key to becoming symptom free.

So, I am preparing my body by detoxing more, with Glutathione and Liposomal Vitamin C and then gonna start taking Azithromyacin or Zithromax, with the other herbs, supplements, as he wants to build, not get rid of and do as much detoxing as possible and rebuilding of my body.

I am actually going to be putting a calendar together plan of just everything I need to do to get back to balance, a structure like an athlete would do when they train.

So after the appointment, this is what I learned, which some people might already know and some might not:

It’s important to chew Chlorella tablets after you swish with Coconut Oil to help pull the toxins out. You then spit the tablets out of course, don’t swallow.

If you are taking Methyl Guard Plus B Complex to help with Methylation and detoxing, you can help more by skipping a day here and there each week. This will allow your body to detox and methylate better and more efficiently.

As mentioned, my doctor is under the belief you can not fully recover without antibiotic therapy. This includes things like using IV Hydrogen Peroxide, Rife, etc. The doctor of course is not going to say that anything is impossible but he feels pretty strongly about this. This is of course mostly speaking with those who have had the bacteria in their body for longer then 6 months to a year.

I mentioned doing a parasite protocol, i.e. that Klinghardt does, because it might help heal things faster, I have mentioned this a number of times. He highly disagrees as he thinks that’s skipping steps and usually if you resolve the main problem, the bacteria, all these other problems kind of get worked out.

He said the only time there is a big red flag with parasites is if your Liver levels jump up extremely when you start taking antibiotics.

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No matter how much help you get from doctors, outside sources, at the end of the day you will realize this is your journey to find the answers, find your clarity and find your path. I have spent the last two years always searching for these quick answers for how I feel and the reality is, it doesn’t that work that way. The people that come into my life are guides and tools to help me move through this, but they are not the answers. There is a sense of dependence that’s created with this, for myself, for others, and by not feeling this way, you become independent and essentially become less attached and set free.

Another thing, I look at how much chaos the Lyme bacteria creates not only in my body but then spread out through me when I go through my daily routine. The doctor said this is the same with everybody. The bacteria creates chaos because it’s unwanted in the body. It’s unfortunately its’ job and I think I forget this. My life was never this chaotic before. Sure things happen, but it was never this constant extreme of chaos and I forget sometimes that though there is a projection of energy you are displacing or projecting, in essence it’s the bugs.

So overall, it was a great appointment.

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Cultivating My Fire

I, by nature, am a very passionate, high energy, ambitious, firey person. I was able though to always to an extent control this fire for my benefit. Then I shifted and that fire all seemed to go internal and my control over the fire, seemed to disappear.

When you start not feeling well, etc, you still have the essence of who you are it’s just a lot of things get juggled or displaced to shift, and for myself, my fire just created chaos inside myself and anytime I would try to put on to the world, my passion, my fire, my life force, it would seem to create chaos.

So the last 2 years, a big part of the lesson or what I have been working on, is learning how to cultivate my fire again.

When a fire is controlled, it’s nice, it’s beautiful, it’s not erratic, it’s not harmful. When a fire is out of control, it’s untamable, it’s erratic, it’s all over the place, it’s damaging.

For myself, this is what happened, my fire didn’t go anywhere, it just never was let loose in a controlled way because of how I would feel everyday. It would just create chaos inside me, that was uncomfortable and unnerving. I mean my fire had to go some place.

So, in essence, it’s about me learning how to cultivate my fire again, learn how to control it for my benefit, for my balance, for my health. Learn how to harness my fire for healing and moving my life forward.

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The story of the Eagle

A friend of mine the other day sent me a story about Eagle’s because she thought what Eagle’s go through, is similar to what I have been going through and can relate to the transformation individuals take with Lyme Disease and other challenges in general. Here is the story and yes it’s real:

Eagles can live up to 70 years. But when they are about 40, there is a terrible crises in their life. They became more and more weak, they can’t hunt and fly as before. So they must decide what to do: they can starve, or fight to survive and being great again. It depends on eagles, it’s an eagles’ decision. Several of them, which don’t want to fight, just starve. Others, the ones braver, fight and accept this terrible challenge. It’s a very painful transformation. So, they retire on a rocky isolated wall, starting their transformation. They come off the beak beating it against the wall. Then they come off their claws, when their new beak has re-grow. And then, their beak and claws grow again, but much more stronger than before. And so eagles, into this painful transforming path, tear their plumage because too much heavy to fly, and then it grow again, but much more lighter than before. So they can fly and hunt again, and in this case, but only accepting this painful transformation, they can still live in the best way, up to 70 years about. Scientists who studying this kind of birds of prey, can perfectly recognize a younger eagle from a real queen eagle, after this terrible path they are queens of sky.

When my friend sent this to me, it really resonated with me and I related it to me tremendously. The last 2 years and still, has been extremely challenging, more then I could ever imagine, not just with Lyme Disease, but in every aspect of my life. The challenges that surround me, etc.

So this story gave me a bit of insight and light, knowing that eventually this challenge, this transformation will be done and I will grow stronger, and healthier and happier in the end.

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Protection Mode

Our bodies, our minds are trained to protect ourselves from enemies, invaders, etc. It’s an automatic training mechanism that sometimes we are not always aware of.

For the last two years, no matter how much I would fight it or wanted to do stuff, my body has mostly been in protection mode. It was in this protection mode to protect me, protect me from not feeling worse, not getting worse and knowing I really wasn’t ready to move on and go into the world and do all these things I wanted to do or want to do. It was my body and mind protecting me.

No matter how much I would fight and my fire and passion and desire to do everything I want to do and just move on, my body wasn’t ready, so it stayed in protection mode.

Ultimately, being in “protection mode” has been the best thing for me and even when I can come out of this, it’s not a quick process, it’s slow and steady to ease back into the world and break out of my shell.

My body, my mind would continually do things to protect itself because on the inside I always felt like I was being attacked, so it would translate to the outside.

The effects of everything would linger and this protection mode, is still here and would feel like it’s still here because all the bacteria and toxins are not gone. I still don’t do a lot or do things that might seem abnormal but I do them to protect myself, even if it’s not conscious.

Our bodies protect themselves, protect ourselves, because it’s really what’s best for us, no matter how much we might not like it, it’s usually what needs to be done.

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Manifesting The Future

The whole point of any life changing experience is to get rid of the old and start fresh and new, the life you want, the life you are able to create. It’s an opportunity for that, and creating the life you want, the life you are meant to live. The difficulty though in this, is really hold on, we hold on to the past, to our habits, to who we were, etc.

So, I speak a lot about everything I am going through, my transition, working on lessons, gaining clarity, etc, but what’s the future I want, the future I am creating for myself, what am I manifesting and this what it is:

I am manifesting the following:

Feeling 100% healthy and happy in every aspect all the time and feeling better then I ever have in my life.

Traveling to:

The Netherlands
Eastern Europe

Becoming successful as a filmmaker, an entrepreneur and making the films I want to make that are seen by millions worldwide.

Finishing my successful E-book

Having a flourishing Raw Chocolate Company

Finding continual balance in everything

Having a successful Health and Wellness Business that changes the way we look at health and helps educate others in taking their lives back

Owning houses in multiple countries

Taking a road trip across the U.S.

Living in the heart of Los Angeles again, flourishing and thriving

Owning my Tesla

I will probably add more to this list as time goes on but this is my future.

What are you manifesting?

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