Normally when I blog, I write on the spot and what I am thinking of at the time. I did some writing last night and decided it would be a good blog entry for today…
I am letting go of the last bit and really jumping into my own. When you are so used to feeling a certain way it takes adjustment and a lot of letting go to get you back to a place where you feel you are living a regular life, a part of reality.
You become fearful of your decision making, who you are, your feelings, your choices. Where at one time everything was conscious and you were aware, you feel cloudy and unaware.
I am so used to being disconnected, as I connect again, it is so difficult to acclimate to everything again. Be in the flow of life. You feel the darkness will never end. The hell will never end and when you start to see the light you aren’t quite sure what it is because it is so unfamiliar. You are used to feeling this certain way, you forgot what it feels like to be happy, healthy, part of the life, part of the universe.
Well all of that’s coming back :).