I was talking with a friend last night and they mentioned that through this I need to be present and experience everything, whether it be bad or good, as I shift and move through my healing.
I have known that one of the things through this healing process that I am learning is how to be present. In my life, it was hard a lot of times for me to be present for many reasons. Some of it comes from underlying physical symptoms that were happening that I masked with being busy, disconnect, etc and other times it was boredom, and other times it was not wanting to deal with the situation. I had an ex-girlfriend talk about this a lot, that I was disconnected or not present a lot of the time.
Through this process though, because of my feeling of unawareness a lot of the time, I am forced to learn how to be present. How to stop and enjoy everything and constantly check in with myself and ground myself. Become aware, slow down, which is a challenge but important. It will me in the end be a better filmmaker, enjoy life more, connect with others better and in the future be a better a partner.
People who live a long time and fully enjoy there lives go through major challenges at some point in their life and I believe a big part of that experience is for them to learn how to be present, connect and learn how to experience life.