This Idea of Control…

I was talking to a friend of mine who beat Lyme, got it when they were in high school and even still struggles with the effects of it and they were talking about this idea of control and that we really don’t have it but it’s a tricky balance of thinking we do and this idea that we don’t.

I am somebody that always felt like they were in “control”. As somebody said once, I was always used to being the director of my own life. Then one day I had no control over everything and my whole life, in my fog, and my uneasiness was relying on faith, feeling and knowing I would be guided on the right path.

Losing my whole sense of being, my whole sense of control was very uneasy for me and created so much anxiety and this feeling of just feeling uncomfortable all the time. I wanted to escape it every minute, every second. Losing myself, wanted me to just always bring myself back but in reality my old self was no longer and I was evolving into something new, something more beautiful, powerful and much more in line with the person I am.

So, it’s really about letting go and realizing as much as you think you are in control in many ways you aren’t. There is a certain flow the way the universe unfolds and plays out and it’s about remembering that, which is hard because most people want to control everything, but trying to control everything in the end spins you in circles and is not healthy.

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