Moving Through The Past

Sometimes the hardest part of something that’s challenging is not the challenge itself but after you have beat that “challenge”, really letting go of it and moving on.

I think this is an element of what I am struggling with.  It’s moving on from this, moving through this and letting go.  I know I am have not fully move through my shift yet, my transition and my rebirth, but at the same time I can feel myself stuck in the cycle as well and being challenged to let go of my routine I do everyday, expanding my world again and moving on from this, letting go of this and not continually being triggered by life.  

As I become more clear headed and more aware and reflect back on this past year and shed the layers, continue to let go, it’s intense what I have been through, everything from wandering around supermarkets shaking and disoriented and doing things that were so not be.  I mean it was like something took over my body and my mind for over the past year and only now am I slowly coming into my own again, my new self, my rebirth.  

It’s like you are constantly feeling like you are living in this dejavu nightmare and always trying to let go of it and move on from it.  I mean this constant feeling of dejavu and this spinning circle of this trapped reality that you are working on climbing out of everyday.  

I mean I have lived about 35/40 minutes away from Los Angeles for almost 8 months now and it feels so distant to me still, so much of an outside world, though their are elements of it that have come back slowly here and there, in many ways it just feels so distant.  

Breathing through, moving through and just shedding the layers and letting go.

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