This experience the last 2 years has definitely culminate a lot of I would say not so fun memories or experiences. And the thing about these experiences, at the time when they were happening, I wasn’t experiencing them, I wasn’t feeling them, I couldn’t. I was in disconnection world, very sick, spinning out of control, but I did remember them and I knew eventually for me to heal, as I heal, they would all come up.
Well as I have been healing more and more and becoming more and more present as I would say, all these memories, feelings have been coming up. And it’s intense, it’s very intense, it’s part of why I went into protection mode and didn’t want to get worse, and reacted to anything extreme because of how much I had already dealt with that I would be working through, I didn’t want to feel or experience more.
I literally lost my whole touch of self one day and that included my life, my memories it felt like, my relation to the world, etc. So what’s had to happen, as I get rid of the toxins, etc that have effected me in that way, that’s one aspect of it, the other it my brain, body, etc has to regrow and that means bringing in all these memories of the past, not all bad, that I never felt to bring me back to who my new self really is.
I definitely was afraid and I know a lot of people are afraid who suffer the neurological affects of Lyme and other diseases, that they will never have their “brain” come back or their memories, etc. Well that’s absolutely not true. Our bodies our powerful and know how to regrow and regenerate and how to release things. It’s not easy to release things, I feel that quite often, all these challenging memories of the past that I couldn’t handle experiencing at the time or even just every experience, eventually it all comes to the surface to regenerate, release and regrow.