I know most of my blog entries are more broad scope, coming at things from a general, more metaphysical point of view and diving deeper into the root emotional response to what’s going on with myself, instead of a more specific daily point of view of symptoms and in relation to what I did and how I feel. It doesn’t get in the root usually of where I am at with my symptoms, what symptoms I have each day, how some have maybe dissipated or gotten better, etc.
The reason for this has been twofold. One, from the beginning, even in my state of unclear thoughts, I have known that diving deeper into the metaphysical realm of the challenge the symptoms in relation to the world surround and ultimately living my life, was what’s going to help me heal and therefore others. Sure, every once in a blue moon I will write about an appointment or a protocol, what that’s very rigid and straight forward. Diving deeper into your emotions in relation to your daily life and finding the root causes and challenges, that’s gonna heal you on a deeper level, a soul level and what has worked for me.
The other reason, is honestly, it was hard for me to gauge really how much I was affected or what symptoms were there or not there or how much better I would feel because it was constant, I mean the fog, the unawareness the way I felt was 100% constant, so my awareness of how I actually felt on a direct level, physical symptom wise, was really hard to gauge because I had to break the bigger layer of understanding and awareness. Also ultimately break the layer of not just being in protection mode each day of not doing anything that would make my body feel worse or feel it would cause more stress. Which is a big challenge in itself considering the environment I live in, though I am grateful for it, is not the most ideal when you are living in a tiny apartment with a dog that roams and barks all the time and parents that nag and say something every other minute it feels like. That’s a big challenge in itself, doing things you need, I need to do to move forward and not let them affect me or prevent that from happening.
So when I would write my blog entries, it was always in a constant state of unawareness and flux, streaming out the words kind of conscious but unconscious of what I was writing. Well I feel this really finally shifting, so I feel it is important for me to give a more specific update.
I recently had an appointment with my doctor and he added another antibiotic, Plaquenil. I am already taking Azithromyacin and Omnicef. I am also still taking BLT, a very strong herbal blend, Sida Acuta and Stephania, as well as Grapefruit Seed Extract and Serrapeptase. I am still doing daily coffee enemas, sauna when I can, as well as other supplements and things to detox.
So, where am I at, well that constant pit or anxiety feeling in my stomach and place of fear and darkness seems to finally be really going away and I did not feel as toxic as I did, so in essence these antibiotics are working and are part of a protocol that I found a long time ago that I felt was the right way to go. Ultimately I am not fearing life and people and world so much.
Sure I still feel crummy and uncomfortable, especially considering I just started the antibiotics, but I understand it and can do more to combat it and not let the world get to me or going out get to me, essentially break and free and let go of the past and rebuild and heal.
Sure you see the waves and flows of me feeling better or feeling like I am getting better and in essence they were points of progress in the sense I did feel some relief at that point and can be a bit more oblivious that day and be able to do something or some what enjoy the day but the reality is that was still not breaking the barrier of getting to the root of the healing and in essence finding myself and really shedding the layers, if that makes sense.
So I feel I really am on the right track, sure it gets frustrating still but I feel the world has more light to it finally and I am ready to break free and the key really is the antibiotics I feel and being able to hit it hard and then go in and rebuild as I ween off antibiotics as some point.