Lyme Disease is different for everybody, but I feel the one consistent thing that happens with Lyme Disease is this feeling that you feel trapped in it, that you can’t escape it and that you are not part of the world. This is at least how I would feel. I would feel stuck in it, every moment of every day and just felt there was no escape, no way out.
You feel trapped in this world of chaos, continual chaos and discomfort, a world you feel you will never escape. I mean this is what Lyme Disease does to you, it makes you feel like you are in another realm, another world, another universe and there is no key to get out as the clock goes tick tock, tick tock.
You just are waiting everyday for a time you can escape everything, escape this chaos and be set free again in the world and feel part of the world again. It’s like this constant waiting game and this push and pull. It’s why you feel trapped and wanting to just escape it all.
I would use defense mechanisms to protect myself and used it as my own way to escape the situation I was in. I had to, I am sure most people do. Is this a good thing? I feel yes and no, but I saw it more as a necessity instead of being bad or good.
So how do I start escaping this trap, patience, inching forward slowly, having faith in the process, taking things one step at a time, being true to myself, letting go, listening to my body and knowing I have the power to create the life I want and take my body and mind back.