That’s how I would spend my day, in a protection mode of sorts. Everyday I would spend my day in this protection mode, hoping I would not get hurt or something in the outside world would not hurt me because of the unawareness I was moving through the world. I became used to it and even when maybe I did not need to be or I broke free, I still was in this protection mode because of how I felt.
It’s draining and tiresome to live your life like this but I needed to do and still at times still do. It is also uncomfortable and makes living in the world and going through your daily life everyday almost unbearable. It makes you feel that there is no escape and it makes things like life and the days that go by that they just go on forever.
You live in this protection mode of a shell, in this fog like dream world for so long, you become used to it and need to live in it. The desire to do things is still there but you almost know you have to live in this shell until you are ready to break to the outside world. It’s a protection mode, protecting myself until I am ready to be set free. Like the butterfly in the cocoon waiting to be set free.