Those two words, in many ways, sums up the last two years or so. Bits and pieces of me moving through the world trying to connect back together. Searching every place for answers, comfort, trying to adapt into the world and feel a part of the world again and enjoy life again and be able to go out in peace and aware.
It’s like amalgamations of myself every place here and there. And in a sense, feeling like as I get better or as I move through this and able to do a bit more and more and realize more and more I pick up the pieces of the past two years and let them go.
Also it has been like two parts, either I am physically just trying to ground one day and chaotic or when I feel can do more in the day or want to do more life wise, I would seemingly seem to make poor decisions and create more chaos. I know it is something I have talked about but it’s like the bits and pieces of the chaos of the last two years of body filled with bugs taken over by something else and still at times like that but more and more of my new self takes over, hits me and starts coming through.
I guess I say it’s kind of a strange thing when the people you have met you have not really met yet over the last two years and the way you are with them is not who you are forming to me and know you are not truly being who you are coming to be and still as you move through it and still as I feel this way I am forming this person this new person and until that happens for me I will feel like I am in a sense bits and pieces trying to working on putting themselves together.