As I become more and more and more aware, and adapt to the world more and more and feel better in many ways more and more, I start to realize how there is more time in the day to do things.
Now what I mean by this is when you don’t feel great and your mind is mush and you are just trying to get through the day and get food and not feel worse, etc., your day becomes very small and limited.
On top of this, for somebody like myself, the few times I did feel better or the fact that I was at home a lot, I would constantly feel like I needed to work and do things to move my life forward. My whole structure and balance is kind of all off.
So even though people, or most people will work you know 9 to 6 and then a lot of times go out after or make dinner or do a bit of writing or take a bath, etc. etc. for myself, that wasn’t necessarily the case. I seemed to always have a limit on what I can do or the bugs seemed to control that.
So, as I take my decision making back, my life back, my trust in myself back, it is a bit strange and difficult to be honest because your boundaries become so off and with my go getter nature I feel like I need to always do work to move forward, etc. but that isn’t always the case. Or being so used to using my time not going out and being home and using to do work instead of going out or building structure or being.
You have 24 hours in a day, full of decision making and when that whole experience is affected and you are piecing together back everything and your mind and your decision making and trust in yourself, it is almost harder then dealing with Lyme itself.