Living My Life

It is a two blog posts kind of day.  I feel this happens when I have more clarity and energy and I want to get more things out.

It is a weird, strange thing not living your life, dragging your body around and just feeling like a totally different person not part of reality or this world or humanity for a long period of time.  You almost become used to it and it becomes your norm.

It is like you do all these things, you say all these things, you feel all these things, you move around the world this way but you know it is not your true you, or your new you and it is a surreal feeling.  Beyond any of the normal physical, emotional, neuro, whatever symptoms, this is the most unsettling in many ways.  And it is not even just feeling disconnected, or derealization, common lyme symptoms, it is knowing that everything you do isn’t you.

You get small glimpses here and there that make you realize that this isn’t you, and that’s what you end up or I ended up holding onto.  Essentially it is like the bugs control everything you do and every day and every moment you are trying to break free from that and that cycle.

And it is like everybody you know and everybody you met you really have never met before, until you become your true you.

So as you form your true you, it is surreal and strange to a lot of individuals and they almost don’t realize and have not met you.

So, I am always working to breaking free and being me, my new me.

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