What Do I need to Fully Heal…

What we need to fully heal is what we are all looking for.  What is it that we need to get to where we want to be all the time, not a moment or a bit here and there or adapting to something, a place of fully healing and being happy and healthy.

I was asked this the other day.  What do I need to fully heal?  What I need to fully heal is something I have been asking myself for almost four years.

At times, I inside myself knew what I needed to heal, but the fog or fear or other things going on would have this fade away, or feel like I wasn’t ready to do it or I wasn’t sure if it was the right decision because of how much decision making felt affected.

However much I have felt things have been more intense the last few months, I have also felt more clear about decision making and things feeling more right or in alignment.

So, what do I need to fully heal?  I need to continue doing what I am doing and trust that it is working out for me.  Doing what I am doing, meaning the health plan I put together and specifically really working on my gut/diet and killing Bartonella.  And trust it and when I don’t take a step back and look at why I have taken this path and gathering the reassurance from it.  Which to be honest has been hard knowing how long it has been and trying other things.  Also trusting you are making the right decisions when you feel like you are dragging your body around.

What else do I need to fully heal?  I need to start building towards my life path and what I want to be doing and not let fear or anything else get in the way and stay true to myself.  Obviously, if I don’t feel great, and can’t do work that day, that’s different, but what I am saying is working towards my bigger goals and not do anything I don’t want to do.

What else do I need to do?  I need to just keep moving forward and be positive and know I am getting better and have come a long way.  It is hard to see this when things feel so constant and cyclic and you really don’t know where you are going to land or who you are going to form and have that feeling that you are just dragging your body around until everything snaps together, but the reality is, you just have to keep moving forward.  You also have to know that almost all the things you question or feel off, etc. are not you, but the bugs.

I also need to fully let go and trust, which I feel I have more then anything and let go of control.  A hard thing though, when you feel you want to hold onto things because holding onto things is part of what has kept you grounded and understanding things when you feel things so warped or a certain way, etc.  Allowing things to pour out of you and feel things when you need them and emotions and not question them.

I also know, when the timing aligns, moving back to Los Angeles, make films and fully embracing life again and knowing I have the tools to take care of myself fully and take care of my healthy fully are there and I am not going to experience this again in the future and only will continue to thrive.

The world is safe, I am safe and is meant to be enjoyed.  I have trust in myself and my decision making and knowing what I need to do to thrive and fully heal and live the life I want.

What do I need to do to fully heal?  Just let go of the past and everything and know it is gone and trust the process and the future.

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