Today is one of those days where I write two blogs. It is not often I write two blog entries. I would say actually int he past almost now four years I have been blogging I have only written two blogs on the same day maybe twenty times or so. Well today is one of those days.
The past doesn’t exist anymore, the future hasn’t happen yet and all we truly have is the present. This can be a hard thing to realize and fathom when you reflect back on things in the past and realize so much of what you did, who you were, what was going on, was not you and so many decisions you made, so many things you did you did not experience and where not decisions you would make today.
So much of the past for myself was based so around fear. Fear of how I was going to feel when I did something, fear of making decisions because I felt they weren’t mine. Fear. Not trusting my intuition. Not trusting myself and letting my power and fear get in the way of what I needed to do to heal.
Sure, a lot of this was the disease. A lot the past few years feels like It didn’t exist and I have been relying on blind faith and still feel in some ways am, but regardless of that, I have to just keep reminding myself, the past is the past and truly it is and all we have is the present.