Remembering..

I remember everything.  Every moment of everything that happened to me.  Moments in my life clearly that happened a long time ago.  Everything.  And the thing is when I was really sick and my mind could not process anything I never knew how I would come out it, let alone remember everything.

So, as I continue to heal more and more and more.  I remember everything, everything I went through.  Retracing as they call it, is part of the healing.  It is also my mind growing back and my body growing back and rebuilding itself.  Because everything one day went out the window and now the machine, my human body is getting rebuilt.

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Tips On How To Beat Lyme Disease

If you have had Lyme Disease in your body for a long period of time and you finally got diagnosed, I am going to tell you this.  You can beat it, but it isn’t going to be easy and you are going to have to do things you really don’t want to do.

Through my experience, I have learned through trials and tribulations there are certain things that are important for beating Lyme Disease.  You can disagree with me but I can almost guarantee you if you ask anybody who overcame Lyme Disease, they most likely did almost all if not all of the following things.  And what are those things, well, they are the following:

Stay Positive

Let Go of the past and your old self

Don’t hold on to grudges, things that are not serving you

let go of all toxic people, negative people and things that are not allowing you to move forward and focus on your health

Rest, rest, rest and don’t overdo it

Put all of your Energy into you

Learn the lessons you need to learn

Always Move Forward

Learn to love yourself

Get out of the Victim mentality

That’s it.  Those are some things I have learned through my journey that I feel are extremely important for beating Lyme Disease.  You can argue against it and say I can’t do those things because of how I felt, etc. etc.  Well that might be true, but then you can also stay sick and go through the same cycle over and over again.

I know Lyme Disease is challenging but remember, it is also beatable like anything in life.

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The Neuro Side For Myself

I would say if Lyme Disease ends up in your body for a long period of time, you most likely will develop some type of neuro symptoms.  This isn’t always the case, but it happens more times then not.

For myself, I had such extreme, strange, fucked up, not fun symptoms one day, that I almost didn’t know how I could ever get out of them because I felt like I was dragging my body around in disorientation and chaos all the time, I didn’t have the clarity or understanding to be able to get out of it.

I distinctly remember like going to a bar and looking around and feeling like I didn’t know where I was and that everything and everybody felt unfamiliar to me, like I had Alzheimers or Dementia.  And this happened literally one day and I have been digging to get myself out of this ever since.

I know I speak a lot of about emotions and lessons and the metaphysical side of my journey but it is all to work on getting out of this feeling all the time.  It is almost anything physical is second nature.

The Neuro symptoms vary in individuals but for myself, they have not been fun and have made things challenging and made me work harder to get better.

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Restoring My Power

Last night, I was thinking about how much I let fear and my environment and others and things that I could not control and had nothing to do with me affect me and prevent me from doing the things I needed to do to get better and move my life forward.

Sure, this is part of the illness and part of a protection mode of sorts but at the same time I was giving up my power, which was leading the cyclic nature of the illness.

As you heal more and more, you relieve and retrace the trauma and everything you went through to essentially break the old patterns and let them go.  That’s what I am doing and in the mean time restoring my power and coming together the person I truly am.

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Maybe, I am Just More Focused…

I was thinking about this last night about how far I have come and where I am still at and I feel in some ways maybe I am just more focused.  Meaning, my symptoms are still there, I am not 100%, but I am more focused on what I need to do to get better and also more focused on my work and my projects.

Does focusing more equate to feeling better and progression of health, sure, but at the same time knowing that yes, I am still affected in one way shape or form at some level pretty much all the time, makes me still wonder at times how much have I really progressed and how much have I just focused on things more.

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I Am…

I have a metaphysical book that talks about when you have any kind of neurological disorder or anything traumatic happen to your brain in any way, it is because you lost identity with your true self and who you really are.

When somebody deals with Lyme Disease, most people talk about losing a sense of self, losing a sense of identity.  It is not uncommon for somebody to transform and let go of their old self.  The purpose of this is that they are finding a new identity, a new self because in some shape or form, their old self was not true to who they were.

I know this quite well and I have spoken about it at length in my blog about how my identity, my whole self became lost all of sudden and my old self was not really who I truly was and I was not living the life I really wanted to be living.  This whole process has been a realization of that to allow me to get to my new self and my true identity of who I am.

So, if you are not living the life you want to live.  If you are not sticking to your own identity and true self, you are not going to fully heal I believe and most of all live the life you want to be living.

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The Frustrating Part

Reflecting back on the last three years, I think the most frustrating part about everything is the feeling that you were stuck and not feeling like you were really doing enough or doing anything or the right things to get unstuck.  This is a very common feeling with Lyme Disease that is contributed from people going years not feeling better and also some of the actual symptoms of Lyme Disease.

Because I am still not 100% yet, I still feel it.  I still feel sometimes that I am not really doing enough to get better or doing the things I need to do to get better.  It is like until you are 100% you want to do everything you can and always want to escape things.

Through time, I have learned to be more proactive and not allow the frustration and anxiousness of my life feeling like it is going by and I am not experiencing life and doing what I want.  But I am not going to lie, it does get frustrating and does get difficult and you almost become so anxious to do everything that you miss being in the moment.

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