Starting from Where You are At

There is a point where you truly do start over and everything in the past, yourself, everything that happened is gone and you let go of it and you end up starting from where you are at.

So finally, for myself, I feel I have reached this point.  Cleared the drama, cleared the crap, cleared my old life, my old self, all the people and things that were the past and the habits and patterns that I had.  I am finally starting from where I am at.

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Is it me? Is it the bugs?

That has been the ultimate question and always the push and pull.  Is it me?  Or Is it the bugs?  I think it is something everybody with Lyme wonders.  Is what they are going through them or the bugs?  Are their actions and who they are, them or the bugs?

For myself, the push and pull is are the things I am doing true to who I am or are they what the bugs want or what has covered up or taken over my begin.  This has been the push and pull for the last three plus years.  Is it me, or the bugs?

It is like there have been pockets and moments the last three plus years and have truly shown up that it is me, but then it seems the bugs would come back.  As time has gone on, it seems there has been moments, more clarity, more awareness of self and everything pointing to it being more me but then you start to question or wonder are the things you are doing correct?  Is it you who wants them?  Or is it the bugs?

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Putting It All Together

I know I have blogged about this before, but it is something that you are always striving for when you are working towards full healing and balance.  That thing is putting it all together.  And essentially putting the formula together that works for you.

So what is formula, how have I put it all together?  Well, it is as follows, and I am going to break it down into categories:

PHYSICAL –  The physical part of putting everything together I think is the most straight forward.  Though very challenging figuring out what the puzzle is, it is very tangible and not as broad.

For myself, the physical part or what I believe has gotten me this far and is getting me to where I want to be, is as follows:

ANTIBIOTICS – I still feel doing about 3 to 6 months, more on the 3 month side of IV antibiotics would obliterate things, challenge with that is getting insurance to cover it and pay for it, which I am working on.

In the meantime, the antibiotics I have taken have gotten me pretty far with them combined with Ozone.  I am currently doing Bicillin, Azithromyacin and Alinia and just started Septra.  I also Take Valtrex and Troche.

Down the road I can see possibly adding back in Rifampin, Ivermectin possibly, maybe mepron or coartem and possibly switching out Tindimax for Alinia.  It is possible I won’t need to add any of these things and get to where I need to be but these are possibilities.  I have a feeling, don’t like putting time on things, within 6 months give or take I might be close to being off all ABX and in the promise land.

Ozone, Bee Venom and other things – I have also been doing Ozone, which I believe has helped tremendously.  I wish I could IV Ozone more then once a week, but cost gets in the way but I am working towards doing that still.  I also have a machine at home and use it daily.

I recently started Bee Venom specifically to address more biofilms and boost my immune system.  I think it is great.  Ozone BTW kills biofilms as well, hence why it can help antibiotics penetrate further.

I also take Cannabis oil, which hasn’t done to much I feel for me and sometimes things like Black Cumin oil, same thing.

Other things I want to do are IV Aretsunate again and possibly Thymus injections, especially his towards the end.  I would also like to get some ozone injected in my mouth.

DETOXING –

Biggest things I do are sweating, Coffee enemas and the Gubarev Protocol.

I also have added things to help with methylation like Benagene, Oxyblast, NOS Ultra and NADH and Glutathione.

SUPPLEMENTS

I take the base supplements, like multivitamins, minerals, B complex, C, D and Magnesium and Zinc and Omega Oils but that’s about it.

 

So the above what I am doing is, reducing pathogen load, maintaining cell function and body function and cleaning out toxins, while boosting my immune system.  The formula.

 

FROM AN EMOTIONAL/METAPHYSICAL SIDE:

Letting go of the past, control and trusting the process.

Thinking in abundance and not minimalistic.

Turning all negatives into positives and changing perspective.

Not being angry anymore or having guilt toward things or anybody.

Not letting fear get in the way of what I need to do.

Changing the world and being true to myself

Focusing my energy correctly and the way I want too.  Not erratic or chaotic.

Being present and in the moment.

Stop complaining and having any victim mentality.

Not people pleasing or letting anybody take my power away.

And just starting new, starting fresh.  A whole new lease on life.

Making rational decisions and thinking clearly when making these decisions.

Creating the life I want to live.

 

And this is how I put it all together.

 

 

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Relaxing on the couch

I always said one of the things that was part of the puzzle of me feeling 100% was the ability to get to a point where I can just relax on the couch and be.  I mean for a long time, especially when I was at my worst, I could not just relax on the couch and watch television because my body was never calm and was always uncomfortable.

I would use the couch as a test marker of sorts to get to the point where I can relax on it and be calm, etc.

Well I finally feel I am pretty much at the point.  That point of being able to just be and relax on the couch and relax and enjoy everything I do.

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It Will Just Happen

This is something I have always known in my heart, that one day, everything I have been through will be a distant memory and things will shift back to where they should be and I will have the life I want to be living.  I have always known that one day, this will just happen.

There have been pockets and ebbs and flows of this moving towards this point but it just never seemed like things were there yet or I still felt off or just felt I was used to feeling a certain way.  But I knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be yet.

It is in a sense like you forming something new, a new being, which essentially you are and eventually that new being will not be what you were the past, but it also will not be in that transformation/transition state and I will be free.  One day it will just happen.

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Time Doesn’t Stop

The hard thing about going through something challenging, whether it would be an illness or an injury, or if somebody is incarcerated or somebody has to work some place they don’t want to and so on and so forth, time doesn’t stop.  It maybe feels like it does, but in reality it doesn’t.

It was definitely a hard thing for me.  I always wished time would stop or always felt like maybe it did but in reality it never did.  And as time goes on and you become more aware and more awake, you realize more and more how much time never stopped and how much you felt like you missed.  It can be a hard thing.  It can be an emotional thing.

So you begin to adapt and you begin to progress and realize though the experience you were going through wasn’t easy or enjoyable, time never stopped.

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There has to be a trust

For you to beat anything in life, for you to be extremely successful, for you to reach your goals, there needs to be a trust, not just in the universe but in yourself.  If there is not, you will not get to where you want to be and you will not overcome what you want to overcome.

I have to admit, trust was a hard thing for me, especially when I felt so darn awful most of the time and so crappy seemingly like things were never ending and I was not getting any place.  It was hard for me to trust things.

I knew I had to get to a point of rebuilding my trust not just in the universe but in myself again, which to be honest has taken a long time and it hasn’t been easy.  I knew I had to not just overcome what I was dealing with but also achieve the things I want to achieve.

So there has to be a trust to overcome anything and do anything, if there is not, you have nothing.

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